Free-falling

It is more than 30 degrees outdoors, and I am seated in my apartment, boiling Chai Tea.

YES! That's how I roll. I deserve some Chai, my personal Yogi Time, I say. I have been working every single day of the week since mid-Jan. I am such a machine! Put my gym membership on-hold because I was getting really bored with the routine (weights and such). Told you, I won't last. I need something like DANCE, to keep me alive.

Everyone's posting up everything they do on Facebook these days, that I think I am slowly getting back to my blog. It is public, yet not too public at the same time, if you get my drift. If you so happen to chance upon this for the first time, Welcome, to my humble abode of nonsensical ramblings - though some times they do make sense.

I have been reviewing my year, thus far, the past few days, and can't help expressing copious gratitude to all that the Universe have been throwing at me the past four weeks. Albeit work, I have made strong networks in the industry - bragging rights begin - having worked with a team from SBS, had meetings with two inner-city council personnel on upcoming projects which I am co-coordinating (and I am talking about massive projects, eg. White Night Melbourne, to name one of them), shot a video with an amazing production team and received positive feedback about my performance, saw Paul Simon play when I worked at A Day On The Green, saw Djokovic play when I worked at the Australian Open (first time) and got into the game of tennis (well, Chris had to patiently explain the whole game to me), and the list goes on .. and hoping it rolls on till I retire (which I deem never). And that is me, living the moment.

This soul is ever-seeking for something substantial, something bigger than life. You cross paths with people you like and dislike, friends come and go, but the true ones remain. You meet someone you can finally convince yourself that you can share your life with, then annoy the daylights off each other while being able to laugh at it together.

I have plugged - "Be a certified Yoga Instructor" into my list of things to-achieve.

I want to keep learning, keep absorbing, keep inspiring.

BFF got me the book above. I have been trying to figure out ways to 'wreck it' but it still looks squeaky clean. Soon... soon.. I just need time to sit down, do nothing, and just get my hands dirty.

Picture time -

Stuff on my work desk - Higher Living's Cocoa and Chilli Tea is my current favorite!

Working at the Australian Open in-style

Love and Light~

Fire

I realised that living Australia has changed me. I am no longer that Asian girl/lady who holds back and consider everyone's feelings when something is definitely not right. I have been transformed into this vocal individual who confronts an issue when there is one, within means, of course. That said, this does not apply to being a keyboard warrior (only if I have no other means of contacting the other party). You have tainted me, Australia!

Then again, I am sick of people taking things for granted in this industry. One can only stay silent for so long. Well, I have experienced different scenarios, same shit, more than thrice - they say, "Three times, you are OUT!". Honestly. Logically, that should happen to everyone when pushed to the limits too.  I have seriously considered my actions, and no, I was not over-reacting.

Life On A Day With Less Responsibilities

Wake up
Roll in bed for an hour
Brain argument on whether to hit the gym or not
Roll off bed
Freshen up in the bathroom
Turn on laptop (aka Morning music mix)
Make a cuppa
Rummage through closet
Selling my wardrobe online.

YES!!! It's the season to DE-CLUTTER!!!!

I Live For This Moment

Peddling out against the waves that kept pulling me in. One of those rare occasions when I actually wish I'd put on more weight. Although, come to think of it, that might just increased my buoyancy in water as our body is composed of mainly water. With the soundtrack to 'The Fellowship of the Rings' playing in my head, I trudged further out, yet stayed close enough within the safety zone. For someone who's gone out catching waves only a handful of times, it is still a hit-and-miss. I found my spot, waited patiently, looked out further into the ocean, and felt the sea. Instinct, they say. You will know when it is coming. Incoming. I see it. I feel it. I hopped onto the board, tried my level best to peddle. Then it comes, it rises. I was lifted by the sea, and when it broke, that sudden drop escalated into a great adrenaline flush as I continued riding towards the shore. The only thing on my mind then was I Lived For This Moment.

My Bean Theory Unveiled

Popped by my local library on Monday to print out some work documents (need to get paid!) and came across a book called "Postcards From The Other Side". I thought it was just another one of those psychic books, though my curiosity took over and decided to give it a go, see what the book's about. 

Honestly, I have never been religious. That said, I am very spiritual. It's not something I identify with or have it plastered all over my physical appearance. Just things that I have been doing/thinking subconsciously on a regular basis, but never really placed a finger on it to 'evaluate' my state of mind. If something comes naturally, let it flow.

Comparing myself to who I was when I was in my teens or early twenties (note: 20 and 21), I would say I have taken quite a long journey, nurtured myself with the wealth of knowledge and understanding whilst connecting with the Universe. 

I know people who chase after fortunes, who pen a list of monetary goals in life (eg. nice cars, big house, designer gears, and all that jazz). No doubt, when I was 15 or so, I did have such aspirations (eg. to have a walk-in closet filled with clothes and shoes, designer bags, etc). Somewhere along the way, my perception of life changed. My priorities shifted and I no longer yearn so much for physical things in life. I felt like I need to feed my soul more than ever. And to do so, I need to apply those six characteristic pillars in my life - Trustworthiness, Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Caring, and Citizenship. Building upon that, to practice daily gratitude, patience, and project kindness.

It was during my final year in university that I realised these new goals in life, when I learnt how to let go of things that are not meant to be (eg. fallout between friends). Then, I conditioned myself and had little success when I have to explain my 'ideology' to people who lead the 'common way of life' - graduate, get a good paying job, start a family, climb up the corporate ladder,... you get my gist. No doubt I have graduated, and I did some soul-searching after that, only to discover that a well-paid job will not necessarily make me happy. Instead, I want to be wealthy in other means. That was when I wrote this story about beans. Well, not exactly, it's metaphorical.

So, back to the book I was reading - did I tell you I love commuting on public transport? Only because it gives me the opportunity to bury my nose in a book. Anyway, I came across this page that might shed a light on the confusion splashed across one's face when I tell them about my 'bean theory'.

I will write more later. I have to hit the sack now. Early morning and long day tomorrow.

xx

Focus On Your Time Off

"Let there be more joy and laughter in your living."

- Eileen Caddy

"If you want true balance in your life, managing the way you spend your time 'off' must become just as important as the way you manage your time 'on'. Look at the hours that you don't spend at work and make a plan to use your time in the most refreshing, revitalising and rewarding way possible."

This is something I have yet to imply in my life. I am such a workaholic, that even on my days off, I will find other work to do.

Today is my only day off. I am going to make full use of it *crosses fingers*

Love Your Life

Before I graduated (this was a few years back. I know, I am quite old!), I did an internship with a friend of my mum. She is a positive psychologist. I have never fully immersed myself in the realm of 'optimism' prior to that, although I know of it's loyal followers and have heard of the saying 'mind over matter'. Nope, never put it to practice and even somewhat laughed at the whole obsession over the 'Secret' book. Hmm..

To me, I don't dwell into things if they are so 'in-your-face', get what I mean?

Anyway, back to my story ... After spending a few months completing my internship, and receiving a huge wake up call on how I was managing (or lack of it) my life, I guess suffice to say, I contemplated hard on my future and took heed at the advice my mum's friend gave me. It was a great huge slap in the face, mind you - I meant that metaphorically by the way.

At times it is hard to explain to people certain things you do, like keep on giving back to the community, and in their words, "not receiving much in return" - they meant monetary-wise. If you ask me, I did not receive nothing in return, it's the act of giving that nourishes my soul, and I think that's even more important than having an expandable disposable bank account. That said, I won't deny that my mind was once aimed at that direction.

Have I shared about my 'bean' story? I don't remember. I must have written it down somewhere. Money beans are of little value to me. Works in kind bear more; they are my main supplements. On the other hand, I try my very best to practice gratitude daily. By doing so, it has opened my psyche to wider opportunities and perspective about life.

Recently, I borrowed a book by Domonique Bertolucci from my local library on ways to start living the life you deserve. They are mainly words of wisdom that we are all familiar with, and it is great to be reminded of and applying them in my everyday life. I even subscribed to her Monday newsletter. You can do so HERE.

Today's text advice is:

"Next time you find yourself faced with analysis paralysis, stop.

Forget the pros and cons and instead ask yourself, ‘Which of my options will take me closer to a life that is in alignment with my values?’

Once you know the answer to this question, knowing which option to take will be obvious."

I really identified to that, hence came this blog post to share this 'wisdom' with you. By acknowledging and understanding that, you won't want to settle for anything less in life, and you will get a clearer vision of where your path leads you, even when you arrive at an utterly confusing fork.

Following my previous post, here's something I picked out from the book:

"Be careful the environment you choose

for it will shape you;

be careful the friends you choose

for  you will become like them." 

- W. Clement Stone

"When you think about your friends and the people you spend your time with, examine whether they hold compatible values, share similar ideals and support you in your dreams, goals and ambitions. 

Make sure that the people you call your friends are people who really belong in your life."

Never, be afraid of cutting loses. 

Lessons In Life

First quarter of the year 2014 - where did time go? Rest assured, I have been pretty occupied with various events, hence the lack of blogging.  Or maybe I just need a slight glitch in the way things unfold daily to inspire me to write. You guessed it? It happened.

Last week, I met up with a good friend in the city for drinks, and we got into the topic of where we are at the moment in terms of our career. Now, let's call her J. She asked me about my progress in the dance industry in Melbourne, which I would say I have been pretty blessed that things are going quite smoothly at the moment. After one-too-many drinks, she told me that a mutual friend of ours (well, more like someone I'm acquainted to) came for BDC's Depart III show last year, and told J that "Sasha can't dance". That person then continued criticising in various areas, to which J responded, "But she's been getting jobs".

Let's call her, L, and these are some of her remarks:

"She can't dance .. so stiff... don't feel anything." (and every single thing you can pin-point on a dancer)

In my defense, these two ladies have undergone classical dance training since they were young. Personally, I would not even compare myself to them as:

1. I only started taking classes seriously three years ago.
2. I am still learning and developing, with much room for progress.
3. And I admit, I lack the Foundations as I have never gone through basic training.

L also commented on my pointe work (from photos), pointing out how bad it is. Well, news break, I have only started doing pointe early last year for a few months before I moved here. She has been doing it for years, yet, when I looked at her photos, she ain't got a perfect pointe either.

After meeting with J, I can't deny that I felt really sour about it and was doubting myself. Until I really contemplated on what L said, I ought not to feel so bad about it because fact is, I lack the training that they've received. Nevertheless, I have pushed myself to where I am today, making use of what I have, and have been getting constant work - Eat that!

Moral of the story is: Before you start criticising/judging someone, evaluate yourself and get to know the other person's story first. Don't give hollow remarks, provide constructive criticism.

I may lack the foundations, though it is something that I can work and improve on in time. J told me she noticed I do not have very good lines (from my photos), and provided me with some exercises I can do to build and strengthen my core and foundation. To be honest, I really appreciated that. In fact, I know myself, and I am not in-denial. I do not go around telling people I am 'such a great dancer'. No. When asked, I always reveal the truth (how much training I've done in the past, etc). It's only when you identify your weakness, then will you be able to improve.

Will I give up? Nope. I'm gonna bring it on, even harder than before.

Then again, I am at this stage where I am prioritising long-term goals. If I am in L's position, instead of voicing out in such a manner, I would offer guidance instead. Share what you've learn, and the Universe will offer you many returns.

Someone Like You

Watching 'The Bachelor' on TV for the first time and personally, I find it quite ridiculous that a whole group of girls are competing over one ordinary guy. Apparently there was some drama last episode - pfft! Reality TV, ya know - it's so funny to see the girls act as such over a guy. I hope they are being paid for appearing in the TV program.

On another note, I kind of understand the need for them to find a special someone in their live, just that I wouldn't opt for it to be viewed and judged by the world. Well, I am happy I do not need to do so.

You know when they say, "The little things count"?, they do. It is always the little things that Chris do/did that surprises me and make me smile from within. On the last night of our performance, I got back to our apartment extremely knackered, showered, and just plopped on bed making my way to Slumber Land. However, my hair takes really long to dry when wet, and Chris actually took the hair dryer from the bathroom into our room and dried my hair while I snoozed on. Awww....

I guess I can say I am glad I made the move here. True, we have our disagreements though I think I understand him more when we talked things through. 

Now, if only he'd allow me to take more photos with him....

Grow Up And Blow Away

If one were to ask me how I felt about moving to another country this time three months back, I would say that I am not very comfortable with the uncertainty and not know what lies before me in foreign grounds. 

The first few weeks, even months, were quite tough for me as I was trying to adapt to this new lifestyle of mine. Having been a workaholic for so long, it feels quite unpleasant to be slowing down, stepping back and having so much time in my hands. I feel almost insecure about it. So I spent the last two weeks or so contemplating over my current position; maybe this was what I needed after all.

Most people are so caught up with society's expectations on the 'perfect life' that we tend to conform so easily into situations that are of little interest to us. I am guilty of doing so. Then I asked myself, why should I give in to what society thinks is right (or wrong)? One thing I love about Melbourne is the alternative side of life. There are groups of people who live their life without caring what others think of them, as long as they are not causing harm or be a nuisance to others. Let's talk about the day job for starters.

Financial security is vital, no doubt about that. However, I believe one can live in a minimalist manner, without the needs of a capitalist world. I am trying my best to apply that in my live at the moment, shying away from the branded, hip/trendy. Practicality is what I seek, most of the time.

Do I want to get a full-time job?

Yes, and No. 

In some ways, I am starting to accept and enjoy the way I live right now. I have finally stepped out of that bubble of mine and look at things in a different perspective. I learn to view things and situations in a different manner, show more gratitude, be kinder, be more conscious about my surroundings and lend a hand to people in-need (even though they think they do not need it). 

Every day I am surrounded by individuals who keep contributing 'good seeds' into my life, to nurture my soul, like my boyfriend and his family for example. They are genuinely nice and caring people, I wish the world has more individuals like them.

This chapter of my life is dedicated to soul-searching, to discover areas about myself that I seem to have forgotten or never knew I had within me. 

My stress level has reduced to almost zero, and I am seeing great changes in myself, holistically. 

To many, this post might appear pointless. Though I hope to some of you reading this, you can improve your life when you change the way you think. Remove yourself from your crazy lifestyle for a moment and ponder over life in general. Acknowledge the little things that are bugging you, and discover ways to curb them.

Did I mention that I turned into a green finger lately? Chris' mum taught me how to plant little seedlings. I went to Bunnings the other day and bought some potting mix and dynamic lifters (they are like multivitamins for the soil). The plants out on our balcony has grown so well, I am really proud of them. Can't wait for Summer to come.

Those two photos were taken in early November. Now, see how much they have grown ...

Petunias

Groundswell

Departing from Malaysia was not an easy decision to make, especially when things have been going quite well this year (minus the few to-be-considered petty issues). Sometimes I ponder about the choice I made, wondering if I chose the right path at the correct time. Though, when will one ever know what lies beyond the veil until one takes that leap of faith? The past weeks, I learned to change my train of thought, and re-evaluate my purpose and goals. Once I did that, I realised I have developed so much more in the past two months than I ever did this whole year. It is how you set your mind to situations beyond your control that matters. Suffice to say, I am looking forward to see how my year ends, and the adventures patiently waiting for me the following year.

Hope you are having a great start to the week. Remember, you can do anything if you set your mind to it.