Fire

I realised that living Australia has changed me. I am no longer that Asian girl/lady who holds back and consider everyone's feelings when something is definitely not right. I have been transformed into this vocal individual who confronts an issue when there is one, within means, of course. That said, this does not apply to being a keyboard warrior (only if I have no other means of contacting the other party). You have tainted me, Australia!

Then again, I am sick of people taking things for granted in this industry. One can only stay silent for so long. Well, I have experienced different scenarios, same shit, more than thrice - they say, "Three times, you are OUT!". Honestly. Logically, that should happen to everyone when pushed to the limits too.  I have seriously considered my actions, and no, I was not over-reacting.

Lessons In Life

First quarter of the year 2014 - where did time go? Rest assured, I have been pretty occupied with various events, hence the lack of blogging.  Or maybe I just need a slight glitch in the way things unfold daily to inspire me to write. You guessed it? It happened.

Last week, I met up with a good friend in the city for drinks, and we got into the topic of where we are at the moment in terms of our career. Now, let's call her J. She asked me about my progress in the dance industry in Melbourne, which I would say I have been pretty blessed that things are going quite smoothly at the moment. After one-too-many drinks, she told me that a mutual friend of ours (well, more like someone I'm acquainted to) came for BDC's Depart III show last year, and told J that "Sasha can't dance". That person then continued criticising in various areas, to which J responded, "But she's been getting jobs".

Let's call her, L, and these are some of her remarks:

"She can't dance .. so stiff... don't feel anything." (and every single thing you can pin-point on a dancer)

In my defense, these two ladies have undergone classical dance training since they were young. Personally, I would not even compare myself to them as:

1. I only started taking classes seriously three years ago.
2. I am still learning and developing, with much room for progress.
3. And I admit, I lack the Foundations as I have never gone through basic training.

L also commented on my pointe work (from photos), pointing out how bad it is. Well, news break, I have only started doing pointe early last year for a few months before I moved here. She has been doing it for years, yet, when I looked at her photos, she ain't got a perfect pointe either.

After meeting with J, I can't deny that I felt really sour about it and was doubting myself. Until I really contemplated on what L said, I ought not to feel so bad about it because fact is, I lack the training that they've received. Nevertheless, I have pushed myself to where I am today, making use of what I have, and have been getting constant work - Eat that!

Moral of the story is: Before you start criticising/judging someone, evaluate yourself and get to know the other person's story first. Don't give hollow remarks, provide constructive criticism.

I may lack the foundations, though it is something that I can work and improve on in time. J told me she noticed I do not have very good lines (from my photos), and provided me with some exercises I can do to build and strengthen my core and foundation. To be honest, I really appreciated that. In fact, I know myself, and I am not in-denial. I do not go around telling people I am 'such a great dancer'. No. When asked, I always reveal the truth (how much training I've done in the past, etc). It's only when you identify your weakness, then will you be able to improve.

Will I give up? Nope. I'm gonna bring it on, even harder than before.

Then again, I am at this stage where I am prioritising long-term goals. If I am in L's position, instead of voicing out in such a manner, I would offer guidance instead. Share what you've learn, and the Universe will offer you many returns.

When Life Give You Lemons

Never would I ever imagine me saying this, "Today is just Not My Day!".

I often come across statuses or hear my peers proclaiming that it is not their day. I would never even contemplate how that would feel like as I like to look at every obstacle as a nourishment to my personal growth. 

However, events of today took a direct curve ball, and I was met with one obstacle after next. At the end of my work shift today, I thought that was just it, and wanted to heave a sigh of relieve. When I got home, I was met with some unpleasant news.

Most people might find it a small issue. I think my 'problem' here is I can take my work really seriously, which is how I conditioned myself these few years. I like working with people who are professional in everything they do, hence am applying that to my own work ethics too. Nevertheless, things slip at times, and least to say, when it is something I did not foresee heading my way, it cracks me up, especially when one situation leads to the other.

Dang! This 'perfectionist' trait ain't working well in times like this. I really don't fancy disappointing people, moreover if it's my employer. Get what I mean?

Irregardless of all the things that happened today, I also crossed paths with some kind-hearted and considerate souls. I ought to focus on such fine occurrences, though mentally, I am pretty messed up right now. 

There is this negative aura that I desperately want to get rid of right now. It is pulling me down, imprisoning me in this dark abyss.  

I will give myself one night to get over this. 

I will wake up anew tomorrow morning and start this week fresh, all over again.

Positive thinking.